The power of being alone
Yeah, being alone sucks. It hurts to see people having fun with their friends. It hurts to be the only one in class that wasn’t invited to a party. It hurts to walk around aimlessly at lunch, hoping someone would start a conversation with you, so you don’t look stupid being all alone. It hurts to be deprived of happiness. It hurts to be drowning in all your emotions because you have no one. It hurts the most when it's your birthday, and no one knows, no one gets you a gift, and you can’t make the best memories. But it's not like one chooses to be this way and it’s not always this bleak.
Over time, I’ve personally enjoyed being alone; I love it. Being alone has taught me to learn about myself and discover my true identity. I have become more creative, I understand myself way better, I have found peace, and now I am at ease. I have become more observant; I have learned to control my emotions and how to take a break when I genuinely need one. Being alone isn’t always miserable and depressing; it can be refreshing and help discover you. Knowing yourself, being at ease, and becoming a better version of yourself are powerful. I am powerful.
Here are some tips leading to solidarity from https://alyjuma.com/solitude/
1. Bunker Down
- Close your office door for an hour
- Go into work earlier so no one is around
- Take lunch breaks alone
- Go on a daily walk by yourself
- Stay up late or wake up early at home
2. Run Away
- Give yourself enough time, if you’re going to go away, make it count
- Go somewhere calming, nature is a great place to start
- Leave the technology behind, this is important for solitude in every situation
- Let your mind wander and explore your new environment
Comments
I agree with how hard it is to be alone. I know that your worth is not measured by how many friends you have, but it is still hard to be alone. But I do agree with how important it is to spend time alone. Maybe it has something to do with my MBTI, but I really love being alone. I need alone time to recharge and feel drained when I am around a lot of people for long periods of time. Especially over quarantine, I did not see anyone except for my 3 family members for over a year. I actually enjoyed it, but I know that if I was truly alone, without my family, I probably would have been very lonely. After coming back to school, I am happy to spend time with my friends but I still know to focus on myself and enjoy time alone.
I really enjoyed the tips you provided! Spending a lot of time by yourself gives you a lot of time to reflect upon your life; sometimes that it can be tiring, but you have a lot of liberty when alone. I experienced a lot of this “reflection time” during quarantine and distance learning, where I felt kind of disconnected from others and the only escape from it was Zoom meetings and text messages. Alone time gives you the opportunity to consider more things involving yourself, as opposed to when you’re with others; in that case, you must consciously be thinking about other people. I, for one, prefer to do homework or other things that require focus, when I’m in a room all alone. This way, I can focus and won’t be compelled to talk to other people.
-Angel
I personally don’t like being alone as much as you. I don’t think it’s possible to thrive without any social interaction ever. In psychology, it is proven that we actively crave close connections with others. There is actually an experiment conducted with baby monkeys that is related to our psychological desire for contact and closeness. These baby monkeys were left alone with two simulated mothers; one was covered in cloth and provided warmth, while the other one was made out of cold metal, and only provided basic necessities. The monkeys didn’t need the cloth mother to survive, but they instinctively clung to it because it provided the feeling of warmth and closeness. However, you bring up a very good point. Some people like being alone at times. Being alone allows for thoughts to come and also allows yourself to calm down. I am very glad for you that you enjoy being alone at times because it tells me that you enjoy peace and quiet.
At times, I love being alone in my little space. Being alone lets me collect and bask in my thoughts. Though I enjoy being social at times, I find myself socially drained a lot more easily now and would prefer to hide in my room and watch shows in bed with my stuffed animals. I also enjoy the tips that you brought up as I might even try them myself! Just like you, I also grew fond of being alone.
I agree that being alone is hard but sometimes I do think it feels nice to have a time for yourself to use rather than doing other stuff. I use these times to sort of take a breather from life when I really need it. After being alone for awhile it feels nice to be around with others again and really helps with dealing with stress.
I LOVE being around other people because socializing is really fun and really brings out the best in me, but there are times when my social battery dies and I just want to listen to music at like 70% volume. I think this also ties into the fact of who I'm talking to because if I'm talking to someone I love, I will look forward to those conversations (yea I'm looking at a particular someone). If I'm talking to someone I don't really like, I will try everything in my power to not make it look like I hate them and leave the conversation.
Sincerely,
Mrinmayee
I thought your post was insightful. Being alone can sometimes feel lonely, but other times it can be calming. I personally don’t like being alone a lot since when I am around more people, I feel more excited. I often get bored when I am alone. However, I do agree that being alone can allow one to feel more peaceful and relaxed. I appreciated your tips. One thing I especially enjoy doing is sleeping late to get time to myself. At night, my house is very quiet, and it feels very peaceful.
Nowadays I love being alone too. I love going on walks around a park by myself, enjoying the scenery and the quietness that comes with it. Being alone is actually really nice, you get to know yourself more as a person. You can actually begin to understand your thoughts and what you want as a person. It’s also really peaceful, there is no noise or need to talk to someone continuously. I’ve learned to enjoy my own company this year, it’s less socially draining and I realize I’m a really fun and enjoyable person to be around. Being alone is definitely a power move because most people these days prefer always being around friends or people in general but what’s truly satisfying is finding rest and happiness without needing to depend on anyone for it.
Sincerely,
Faith Tong